BODY LANGUAGE DOs & DON'Ts

Some gestures-when misinterpreted-can wreak havoc on international business dealings. When working with foreign colleagues, these tips will help you avoid damaging new relationships:

Eye contact. Direct eye contact is expected in the US, Finland, and France. But throughout Southeast Asia, it's best to avoid prolonged eye contact until the relationship is firmly established, or you could be considered impolite. In Latin America as well as some African cultures, prolonged eye contact from someone of lesser status is disrespectful.

The wave. Though it is common in North America to move the hand side to side, this motion can be interpreted as 'no' in Mediterranean Europe and Latin America, or as "come here" in Peru. In Greece, that same gesture is a serious insult, especially when the hand is close to the other person's face.

The handshake. A strong grip and several arm pumps to convey a message of confidence is typical in the United States. However, in Asia, the grip is often rather limp. A light lingering handshake is more favored in Latin America, and to withdraw the hand too quickly could be insulting.

Hand signals. Crossing your fingers may be for good luck in America, but in Turkey the gesture is used to end a friendship. The "okay" sign has several different meanings: in France it means zero, in Japan it's a symbol for money, and in Brazil it carries a vulgar connotation. A thumbs-up gesture that signifies "Good job!" to Americans, is considered offensive in certain parts of Australia and Nigeria.

Secret signals you may not be aware of: In many cultures, when someone taps the side of his nose with his forefinger, it signals a desire for confidentiality. However, if you see someone tapping the front of their nose in the UK, Holland, or Austria, they are telling you to mind your own business. Placing the forefinger on the cheekbone and pulling down to widen the eye signals "be alert" in Italy and Spain while in Austria it suggests boredom!

... unique models of the world in this world.

... WOW.

... GREAT!

... AND?

And it means we all have our unique way to process and give meaning to the world outside, therefore creating our unique internal map to find directions and live our lives.
It also means we potentially have 6,671,202,854 other models of the world to discover and learn from!

... Talk about a challenge!

And maybe the challenge doesn't lie in the number, maybe it lies in accepting and respecting models that are different from our own. Maybe it lies in getting that greater tolerance and understanding of stepping in someone else's shoes and experience what they experience, the way they experience it. And whether we agree or not, whether we like that model or not is irrelevant, what matters is that we are flexible enough to operate from different perspectives.

Writing to you as someone who lives in Dubai, we all know there is a fantastic mix of cultures and nationalities, from all ages, all social backgrounds ... what a great testing ground for experimentation!

The first time I attended a meeting in the Gulf region half of the attendees turned up late (some half way through the presentation), everyone (but me ;-) had their mobile switched on and were taking calls in the room. I did find it a bizarre experience as in the UK you would be expected to turn up on time, apologise and have a good reason if you didn't and put your phone on silent when attending meetings (or else you'd get "the look" or a sarcastic comment). What triggered my curiosity that day is that everyone seemed to find this completely normal. Hello! Was I the only one to notice how rude people were here!
Well ... yes. I was the only one to think that. It didn't mean the attendees were rude nor disrespectful as in their model of the world it is ok to listen to a presentation and answer a phone call. It is also ok to turn up late and have no justification to give. And discussing with them after the meeting I discovered they did gather the information they came for in the first place.

Yes, we're all different, none the same and to get along with each other, live as a community in harmony one essential learning is to respect each other's model of the world. Everybody always says "Of Course!" when hearing this and still ... not only this means to accept and respect the other person's reality and also to switch off your own reality and get an experience of theirs. And very few people really allow themselves to let go of their vision of the world, instead they make excuses, justify themselves, give advice as to what is right or wrong ...

So just for a few days, let's allow ourselves to look into different realities with ease and curiosity, switching off our judgments and beliefs ... how many great discoveries can we make?


Love, Light & Smiles,
Celine Grey-Pelissier

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Performance Assessments

As coaches we need to be qualified in psychometric tools, both to meet the professional standards of the coaching associations and to meet our clients's needs for some measureable assessment of employee potential and motivation with regard to performance. This is increasingly vital in these highly competitive times.

Extended DISC business assessment tools give you the means to motivate, stimulate and encourage people in your organisation by raising people's self-awareness, self-esteem and self-confidence. Assessment, testing and development play a vital part in not only recruiting but also retaining key people in your business.

Their consultants are assessment and testing specialists so are able to provide you with the right business assessment tools for your company. Theaccurate, valid and objective performance assessments enable employers to understand and develop the full potential of their people. They supply Executive Coaches, HR professionals, managers, and leaders with the tools and training to motivate, engage and coach individuals as part of their performance and development assessment.

Doctors need coaches!

With the news that Doctors are now going to learn leadership skills as part of their training, I wonder if that means that those who have missed out will avail themselves of a coach to help them improve in the areas of interpersonal skills, working with peers and developing teams, managing resources, improving services and developing and agreeing strategic direction. The medical profession and especially those within in the NHS are undergoing enormous change, Like other professional service providers Doctors need to have broad management skills in order to survive and yet so not see management and leadership as part of their toolkit. Those who maintain this stand will be the ones left behind and the quickest way to meet individual development needs is to get a coach - I lay down the gauntlet!

Enlightenment

Spending all week observing a basic coaching course has enabled a deep reflection about who and what is a coach. It's worth taking time out to think about whether we are truly present in our clients' world, following their agenda without judgement, presupposition or bias. Do we truly park 'our stuff' and work in a fair, ethical and professional way, with full contracting and boundary definition, full review and evaluation, soliciting feedback and gaining supervision on our practice? Those coaches who take their ego and guru status to their clients are surely consultants or mentors and provide a place of interuption with a very different methodology and state from which a client may move forward.

Coaches for Poverty

Coaches for Poverty is an initiative whereby coaches can donate a percentage of their fees to help in the fight against poverty. In Romania children with no papers are living in the worst possible environment, relying on donations for their every need. Officially they don't exist, and so are invisable to the usual lines of support. Twenty pounds a month feeds and clothes a child. Three pounds a month provides three hot meals a week. Robin Hood Ministries are co-ordinating efforts to help these children. Successful coaching organisations have joined the scheme to help wherever possible. I visited these children last month and saw with my own eyes, the pitiful standard of living that they endure - and that was in the warmth of summer. Could you live at -20 dgrees or lower, in a shack built from bits of wood and plastic bags, with no heating, no hot food and no thick clothing? However hard life appears for us at the moment, I personally believe we are lucky to even be having a dialogue about building a better future. For these children it's only a dream.